WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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