There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
You're a waste of cheezeits
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
