He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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