:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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