Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
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