So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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