he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
