It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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