And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
