Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
