i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
