Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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