I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
