i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
