I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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