no, he came in my armpit
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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