i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
