Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize