we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
