youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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