And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
