No subtext here. People are naked.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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