White coat. Heels.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
