i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
