So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize