we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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