Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
