Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Randomize
