Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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