I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
