The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
