Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
