Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
