let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
