I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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