Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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