I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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