Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
