Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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