If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
