Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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