Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
