I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Barsexuality is the new black.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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