I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
