A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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