At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
