I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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