i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
