My first STD was from a foam party
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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