I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize