Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
