I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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