One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I smell like Dick and happiness
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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