We won't sleep together?
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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