My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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