Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
