at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Randomize