Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
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