the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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