She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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