We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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