That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
