The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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