Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
