Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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