Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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