i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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