I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
