i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
