She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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