And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
