in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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