brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
