margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize