Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
