Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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