i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
