Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
