Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
They took my balls.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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